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It Used To Be...

That we had something called common sense. This meant that you looked at a situation or problem and actually engaged in a conscious analysis of the possible benefits, risks and consequences of engaging yourself in that situation or problem before you actually engaged in it. I will use sex in this case, since I want to talk about California's SB-967. This bill attempts to define 'consensual sex.' Otherwise known as the "Yes Means Yes" bill, this is type of sign is instantly what I thought of: Overstated Sign

Notice that this sign uses eighteen adjectives when one would do. This bill, and the associated derivative policies will do just what this sign is doing, oversimplifying and defining to an excruciating degree something that should be common sense.

If you let the law define acceptable and unacceptable conduct to the nth degree, you are absolving yourself of the thinking on if this action is a good idea or not. Let's say two (or sometimes more) people want to have an intimate encounter that will result in pleasurable sensations and orgasms for all involved. All well and good. This kind of stuff happens every day. It is what makes the world go 'round.

However, there are many times that this happens and it's not all fun and games. When one does not agree to the encounter, or changes their mind in the middle and the other party continues, that's rape. The sex of the raper and rapee does not matter.

Now, when I was growing up, young males were taught by their male role models (notably fathers and uncles), that you shouldn't have sex until you were married. If you did and she became "with child," You were expected to take on the obligation of supporting your child and its mother. If you play, you pay. You also most assuredly did not take "undue advantage" of her, which means have sex while either one of you were impaired by alcohol or drugs.

A man does not have his way with those who do not (or should not) consent. Likewise, young women were taught (by mothers and aunts) not to put themselves into situations where they could be taken advantage of. That meant double dating with a blind date, and for the next 2-3 dates after that. No alcohol or drugs that would impair your ability to say "no" and mean it. The ladies also had an obligation as well. That was, if they did willingly engage in sex, if they regretted it later they did not make a false accusation of rape.

Let's make this perfectly clear: There is ZERO justification to rape another person. There is also ZERO justification to make false accusations. There are responsibilities on both sides here. Guys, if she's been drinking/drugging, jumps in your lap and starts squeezing your Johnson, tell her, "Yes, when you're sober" and don't let it get any farther. If you get "the urge," and she's passed out/asleep, put something for her to drink when she wakes up on the table next to her and pull a blanket over her. Ladies, if you want to have sex, that's fine. Just don't let the alcohol/drugs say "yes" when you want to say "no." Don't do the "revenge sex" thing either. That's where you get mad at your boyfriend, and to "get even" with him you go have sex with somebody else. Except a day or two later you feel guilty about it, so to save your own hide you start accusing the other poor guy of rape, not realizing that you are ruining the rest of his life.

Even if he beats the accusation, that event will haunt him for the rest of his life. Everyone needs to own up to their mistakes in life. You also need to do your best to avoid situations that will most likely have life-long repercussions for everyone involved. Screwing up is a part of life. We learn by our mistakes. Try to learn from the mistakes of others, and take responsibility for your actions.


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